Hero Homework #10

Paratus Pro Quisquam

The thing that keeps most people from taking action when it’s time to take action is that they have no expectation of success.  Without that expectation of success, they have only fears of failure, injury and embarrassment.

A hero, at the moment of action, has an expectation of success, can imagine it, visualize it.             I think you can cultivate that, cultivate a can-do state of mind. Most people find excuses for failure. A hero finds reasons to succeed.

Nothing breeds success like success. That is, success brings an expectation of success.  Good boxing trainers know this well. The bring a novice fighter along slowly matching him (or her!) against less challenging opponents first to build up the fighter’s confidence, the fighter’s “expectation of success.” Only then does the trainer progressively include more challenging opponents.

When Muhammad Ali declared “I am the greatest!” he wasn’t saying that for the public, or for his opponents. He was planting that belief  and reaffirming it in his own mind. In addition to being the GOAT, Ali was a natural sport psychologist.

How does one develop a can-do attitude, or what I sometimes call a “superior will?”

That’s easy. Establish a history of success.

Here’s how:

Start with something easy.  Do 50 push-ups. J    Start with one on day one. On day two, do 2. On day 3 do three, and so on for 50 days.

Or  meditate for 5 minutes every day for 21 days.

Or fast for 24 hours.

Or…well, it doesn’t really matter what it is you choose. The point is, you SAY you’re going to DO something, and you DO IT.  No matter what. No exceptions, no excuses.  The most important thing you have is your word, and you should always keep your word – especially to yourself.

Then try something you’ve never done before. Learn another language. Learn to play a musical instrument. Write a sonnet. Bake a cake. Build a coffee table. Fix an engine. Learn a magic trick.

The more things you do, the more you will realize that there’s really nothing you can’t do, if you set your mind to it. You begin to expect success.

Your next hero workout:

Make a promise to yourself and keep it. DO what you SAY you’re going to do. Challenge yourself, and meet that challenge. Then do it again with another challenge, a little harder one. Create for yourself an expectation of success. 

Do it. We need every hero we can get.

-aac

IMPOSSIBLE IS JUST AN OPINION.

– Muhammad Ali

The Superior Will

Don't look for excuses to fail.

Look for reasons to succeed.

aac

The Musician's Martial Art

The Musicians’ Martial Art

                                     

Above is a portrait of Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint- George, sometimes called, “The Black Mozart.”  It is interesting to note that, while he was a brilliant composer and celebrated violinist, this portrait depicts him holding, not a bow, but a fencing foil.  You see, Saint-George was not only one of the finest musicians of his era, he was also the most formidable swordsman of his day.  Some would see those accomplishments in arts and arms as contrasting.

We view them as complimentary.

Those qualities that contribute to superior musicianship – sensitivity, passion, concentration, and a patient, persistant attitude – are also traits of the superior swordsman.

As a teacher of “Classical Fencing,” I have for many years observed that my best students have nearly always been those who were excellent musicians -- and those students have reported that the practice of fencing enhanced their musical abilities.  As a musician, myself, I had found it so, yet I was still a little surprised to learn that it was true for others, and not only for me.

If you're a musician who has studied classical fencing, I’d like to hear about your experience.

Drop me a note.

Maybe even 8 bars.

aac

Love Potion #9

Has this ever happened to you…?

You’re driving along a very familiar road, maybe  a route you typically take to work or school, but your destination this time is someplace else. Without thinking you take a wrong turn, taking you toward your usual destination rather than your actual destination.

I’ve done it.

That’s  the power  --- and the danger of auto-pilot.

Auto-pilot can be a valuable, even life-saving thing. But, as my students have heard me say many times, any “strength,” taken to an extreme, becomes a weakness.

Howdy, Padnah. Welcome to paradox country.

The beauty of auto-pilot is that you can perform physically even when your mind and/or emotions are pre-occupied.

The danger of auto-pilot is that it may negatively influence your situational awareness -- you may miss subtle cues in the environment that tell you this situation is different from the “routine” situation for which auto-pilot is both adequate and appropriate.

You have to know when and how to switch auto-pilot off.

This week's workout is to encourage you to turn off your autopilot and observe your surroundings in a thoughtful way. 

Use ALL of your senses.   

What do you see in your surroundings? 

What do you hear, both near and far away?   

What do you feel? 

What scents are there?   Scent is closely related to taste – you may literally find a “flavor” to your environment. 

You may notice the smell of a restaurant you didn't know was there, music you’ve never heard before, the view from the bridge you drive over, or the anguish of someone in need.

Reinforce what you learned by sharing your insights with a friend. By being mindful of your environment, you are practicing an important trait of the everyday hero.

Your new Hero Workout:

On the way to and from work or school, use all five senses to take in information about your surroundings.

Share what you notice with a friend.

-- aac

 

Hero Homework #8

 Asking for Help

I’ll tell you right up front, this is a hard one for me. Bad history. 

As a rule, I’d rather bleed to death than ask for a band-aid. I’m greatly disinclined to give an enemy the satisfaction of hearing me beg for mercy. Doesn’t matter whether that enemy is a particular individual, or just a situation. That’s a chink in my armor, and I know it.  I’m working on it.

Asking for help may sound simple. But it’s not an innate ability at which all people excel. Asking for help is a skill that can be developed through practice. Everyone differs in the situations in which they feel comfortable asking for help.

This exercise encourages you to step outside of your comfort zone – almost always a good thing, in itself -- and ask for help in situations where you would normally avoid doing so. 

In two experiments, social psychologist Tom Moriarity (1) demonstrated the importance of asking for help in order for observers to feel personally responsible for your well-being. In the first experiment, New Yorkers watched as a thief snatched a woman's suitcase in a restaurant, when she left her table. 

In the second, they watched a thief grab a portable radio from a beach blanket, when the owner left it for a few minutes. In each experiment, the would-be victim (the experimenter's accomplice) had first asked the soon-to-be observer of the crime either "Do you have the time?" or "will you please keep an eye on my bag/radio while I'm gone?" 

Asking for the time elicited no personal responsibility and almost all of the bystanders stood idly by as the thief took off. However, of the people who had agreed to watch the victim's property, almost every bystander intervened. They called for help, and some even tackled the runaway thief on the beach!

The encouraging message is that we can often convert apathy to action and transform callousness to kindness just by asking for it. The mere act of requesting a favor forges a special human bond that involves other people in ways that materially change the situation. It makes them feel responsible to you and thereby responsible for what happens in your shared social world.

 -aac

adapted from the Heroic Imagination Project

(1) Moriarity, T. (19975) Crime, commitment, and the responsive bystander: Two field experiments.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 31, 370-376