On Un-ringing the Bell

Once you know something, there’s no way to un-know it. 

Slightly or greatly, it changes you, your view of the world, your place in it, forever. You can’t go back to being the person you were before you knew it. You can’t un-ring the bell.

It’s said that every man’s labor leaves its mark on his body. (No doubt, also true for women.) The shoulders of a boxer, the glutes of a sprinter, the feet of a ballerina, the fingertips of a guitarist – are signatures of their profession.

I would say that your labor also shapes your mind and spirit.

For better or for worse.

If you want to be a musician, but the only time you play your instrument, or even think about it, is during your half-hour weekly lesson, you’ll never become a musician.   You have to think about it all the time. 

Eat it, breathe it, dream it. 

You practice constantly, even when you have no instrument with you. You listen. You become aware of music on many levels. You hear music all around you in the nickering of horses, in the roaring traffic swoon, in the silence of your lonely room, you think about it night and day. You become aware of rhythm. The rhythm of the seasons, sunrise and sunset, the wind in the trees playing weird melodies, the rhapsody in the rain.  The rhythm of your heartbeat, fast or slow. The heartbeat of a lover. The oceans. The heartbeat of the earth.   

“Musician” isn’t a job or a hobby. It isn’t something you do part-time, neatly compartmentalized away from the rest of your life. It is your life. A way of being in the world. And once you know it, experience it, feel it, thereafter, wherever you go, whatever you do, you do it differently, as a musician, than a non-musician would. And you can never go back to being the person you were before.

 

If you want to be a swordsman, a fighter, but the only time you take up your sword, or even think about it, is in the salle d’armes, you’ll never become a swordsman, never become a fighter.   You have to think about it all the time. 

Eat it, breathe it, dream it. 

You practice constantly, even when you have no weapon with you. You observe. You become aware of combat – struggle and conflict -- on many levels. You see the same dynamics of combat, the same laws, manifested it all around you. In the struggle between predator and prey, the oppressor and the oppressed, between criminal and intended victim, in sport, in love, in business, in politics, in war. Combat is the eternal dynamic of yin and yang, light and dark, good and evil, ever changing, ever transforming, shifting the balance first one way, then the other, in strict accordance with very clear and constant principles.  

"Swordsman" isn’t a job or a hobby. It isn’t something you do part-time, neatly compartmentalized away from the rest of your life. It is your life. A way of being in the world. And once you know it, experience it, feel it, thereafter wherever you go, whatever you do, you do it differently, as a fighter, than a non-fighter would. And you can never go back to being the person you were before.

That’s the gift.

That’s the curse.

aac